Thursday, May 5, 2011

Thank You NetherRealm for Kratos!

No, I am not thanking them for the quality of the extra character, the Sony superstar Kratos, in the PlayStation 3 version of Mortal Kombat. As a matter of fact, his fatalities are amongst the weakest of the bunch, which is a disappointment after that most-brutal-decapitation-scene-ever in God of War III. I am thanking them for the deliciously cathartic release I get killing him with the MK characters. As you may know, I don't like GoWIII that much. It is a disappointing end to the God of War trilogy and it could have been a lot - and I truly mean a lot - better. You have to be a die-hard fanboy to actually say that the game is a masterpiece. It is not. Was it fun playing through the game? Yes. But was it an extraordinary experience? No. And that climax... Just thinking about it makes me want to bash Kratos in the head and kill him in imaginative fashion - something that NetherRealm Studios has kindly provided the owners of the PS3 version of MK! I cannot wait to unlock all the fatalities so that I can perform all of them on Kratos an infinite number of times. This whole thing makes me want to reconsider my stance on gaming versus sex because killing stupid old Kratos feels really, really good!

Oh yes... Just like that! You know how to make me feel good...

Yeahhhh.... Oh yeahhhh... That's nice.

Do it slow... No, do it fast! Do it over and over again...

Then my significant other came into the room and said "Oh that doesn't even look realistic!" Just let me enjoy my Kratos fantasy in peace, okay?

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