Review: Prometheus

Prometheus (2012)

Genre: Sci-Fi

Format: Non-3D Theatrical Release

Director: Ridley Scott

It's been a while since I first head the news that Ridley Scott had started working on a prequel to Alien and I remember how I excited I was about the prospect of that idea. Another claustrophobic horror sci-fi movie is something that is amiss from the current cinematic world. Prometheus stays pretty close to that territory but it's a departure from the series and it still shares similar themes to the original in both its ideas as well as visual design and execution.

If you have seen the theatrical trailers for this movie, the unfortunate thing here is that you pretty much already know almost everything that happens in the movie. I was one of the victims of this marketing catastrophe and I am so disappointed that Scott failed to control his advertising team to ensure that the entirety of the movie's main storyline remains hidden until the actual viewing. If you haven't seen those trailers, I of course, will only give you what those trailers should have done: a basic premise without sharing the detailed plot. A team is sent to a remote planet to find a civilization that had potentially created human life on Earth. When they arrive, they eventually learn that their lives may be in jeopardy.

The main strength of Prometheus is that the movie provided a rather convincing atmosphere of intrigue by allowing plenty of the things that take place on screen left unexplained. The problem with this however is that the movie is quite uneventful. There are only a total of two or three powerful scenes in the movie that will forever haunt my memory. The rest of the movie just feels stretched out. That being said, the film feels unique in which it's a blend of creature feature and character drama. The movie does manage to bring up some interesting comments about theology and it even goes into questions in regards to artificial intelligence but none of these really make too much of an impression when all is said and done. They become nothing more than convenient plot devices.

Do I like Prometheus? Yes, I had fun watching it. It has great performances and convincing special effects consistently grace the screen but the movie just doesn't feel meaty enough. I like that it differentiated itself from everything else in the Alien series but just being different is not enough when little impact is made. Maybe it needed a little more horror and a little more gore to make it whole. The movie has a serious tone to it but perhaps it just needed to be a little darker - a spaceship full of people heading towards their doom is not necessarily a path less travelled. So at least litter it with plenty of bread crumbs or even blood spatter along the way to make things a lot more memorable.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Review: The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games (2012)

Genre: Adventure

Format: Theatrical Release

Director: Gary Ross

I was very surprised when the spouse took me to watch The Hunger Games yesterday because of a co-worker's recommendation. I had no interest in watching the movie, especially after from I learned about the story a while back. It sounded like the infamous but excellent Japanese novel/film... Battle Royale! Apparently, author/screenwriter Suzanne Collins claims that she had never heard of it before the completion of her novel that this movie is based on. Whether that is true or not will always be up for debate but I went into the theater, though perplexed by the spouse's choice, with an open mind.

The movie is about a cruel reality television show that's named The Hunger Games - which is by the way, a horribly unimaginative name - which features contestants plucked straight from the youths of 12 to 18 years old from the 12 districts under the rule of an overseeing Capitol. The game is simple: they have to kill each other until only one remains. It's the 74th game since its creation, and it serves as a reminder of a rebellion that occurred against the Capitol and thus a way to control the population of the districts under its rule. The plot may come across shocking to most American audience because killing children in a movie is a serious taboo but let's hope this movie has changed that perception from this point forward. But just when you think that this movie has guts, it certainly can't claim the glory that could come from such a risqué proposition.

You see, the movie is very good when it comes to building up momentum. All the things that happened before the actual game started were actually quite engaging. I really enjoyed seeing how the "tributes" are selected using the lottery system and the things that they have to go through before they start killing each other, which involve wooing the crowd and potential sponsors. Once the kids are placed inside the large, confined arena, things start to fall apart. Sure, some of these contestants are really, really young and you would think that it would be extremely easy to score a bunch of emotional deaths for us the viewers but the way that the whole game is shot, it feels like Suzanne Collins and director Gary Ross are almost ashamed of this part of the supposedly bloody tale. Well, I supposed the PG-13 rating was a clear indication that things are going to get so downplayed. I am a believer that off-screen deaths can be very devastating but the way they were handled here are just so unconvincing and lack any hint of panache. You can't give us an incredible build up only to show us a rushed, unexciting, below mediocre pay-off. It's just plain criminal.

The Hunger Games had so much going on for it halfway through: Great casts, eye-popping visual designs, an intoxicating, believable world filled with both oppression and excess but when it's time to make all of those things stick while inside the hunting ground, everything begins to falter instead. If they want to make the eventual sequel works, they really have to commit to the promise of the idea and not compromise to be just like Capitol, whose only interest is to make some money while ensuring that the audience remains merely docile.

RATING: 2 out of 5

Review: The Woman

The Woman (2011)

Genre: Horror

Format: Amazon Instant Video

Director: Lucky McKee

Some people just cannot handle a strong feminist message, though delivered in such cruel, unapologetic way. That would be the reason why this infamous audience reaction clip happened. Lucky McKee is back again with another strange tale involving displaced women in modern society and this time around, he has teamed up directly with the prolific horror author Jack Ketchum. This pairing resulted in one deliciously dark concoction of character drama and potent horror that both of them are already known for and mastered.

The Woman referred to the last surviving member of a cannibal clan from Jack Ketchum's previous works who has found solace living in a small cave in a forest. A lawyer saw her bathing in the river one day and decided to bring her back to his home in an attempt to return her to a civilized life. After having her chained up inside a cellar, he then introduced her to his three kids and wife and informed them that they will have to work together to save this woman. What follows is an investigation into the lawyer's fascinating family dynamics that has been further shaken by the arrival of the woman. The movie takes its sweet time to build up the tension and the woman mostly becomes an observer who watches over how the family reacts to each other as well as the way that they all react to her. The movie uses slow fades between scenes very often, giving it a languid and almost relaxed feel but it also hints at something sinister lurking in the shadows. When all hell breaks lose, you will not be given time to breathe and by then, your perception of the reality of the situation have all but shattered into pieces.

The movie doesn't shy away from its foul treatment of the female sex but that is not without its cause. It's clear that female empowerment is the goal here but that also means that passiveness has no value in The Woman. You are either a victim or a survivor and there is a clear, visible line to distinguish the two. The ending is really messy and there's much to empathize about but strangely, it can still be considered as a good closure, especially considering the situation at hand. Wonderfully casted, masterfully written, and stylishly filmed: The Woman is definitely one of the best horror movies ever made.

RATING: 5 out of 5

Gwyneth Paltrow: That Face Is Forever

Gwyneth, you know that I adore you. Ever since I saw you in Seven and Emma, it was very apparent that you are a one of a kind actress. I still can't get over the fact that you actually managed to become extremely adorable in those cheesy Iron Man movies but then... You agreed to act in Contagion. Sure, I have not watched the movie yet but you know that when you make that horrid face - which is a really scary good expression - that it would become a trademark for that movie and that they have used that face extensively in both the trailer and the print promotions for the film. As a matter of fact, that face even shows up on a recent promotion for the movie on the X-Box 360 dashboard.

It's like your neck is about ready to melt and your head is about ready to grow spider legs...

Gwyneth, you are still captivating but that face has left a scar in me because I have seen it too many times. When I think of you now, I can't help but to think that you are that actress who did that crazy face in Contagion. I don't think that you can ever live this down but then again, that could be a compliment because I don't think any other actresses would make that kind of a face ever because perhaps they don't want to reveal that they could potentially look so... very... human (who is in some kind of hellish agony).

Review: The Human Centipede 2

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence (2011)

Genre: Horror

Format: Amazon Instant Video

Director: Tom Six

When I watched the original The Human Centipede, I wasn't impressed. Tom Six's concept of a movie about connecting three human beings to each other anus-to-mouth was indeed disturbing but the movie itself was not that horrific - please click here to read my review of the first movie. This sequel however sees Tom Six back with vengeance in his heart as he presents to us one really vile piece of work that will leave a distinctive stain on the history of horror cinema forever.

The shift in the story is rather remarkable. In Full Sequence, we are presented with Martin, an obese, mentally-challenged parking lot security officer who is obsessed with the first movie. He watches it continuously and is convinced that he can make his own version of the human centipede (only with a lot more people) by copying the fictional Dr. Heiter's infamous procedure. This meta-film approach works really well because it makes the entire proceeding a lot more realistic because it suggested that the movie happened in real life versus the cinematic world where the original tale took place. To make things even more interesting, one of the actresses from the first movie return to this sequel as herself! You know that Martin is one sick bastard for wanting to actually include the original actress in the first movie to become a part of his own human centipede chain. There are other telling signs of his psychotic tendencies as well, from kidnapping people from the parking lot to the utterly merciless things he does to them to realize his depraved little fantasy.

Unlike the first movie, Full Sequence has quite a build up, that is if you even want to call it that. We get to see Martin's home life in between his kidnapping sessions, where we learn that he is a really troubled man. But surely, no justification is ever enough for the amount of torture he inflicted upon his victims nearing the end of the movie when he finally performs the surgery to join his captured men and women together. Unlike Dr. Heiter, Martin has no access to the best medical equipments out there. Instead of a scalpel, perhaps a kitchen knife would do? To get his victims to remain unconscious - which is hard to do without anaesthetics - perhaps they could get knocked in the head with a crowbar? You get the picture. It's not a pretty sight. It's totally disgusting and above all else, it's extremely cruel. When they are finally attached to each other thanks to Martin's shoddy handiwork, he then intensifies their suffering by doing a number of nasty things to them for his pure pleasure.

This movie is not for everyone. It is an interesting horror movie and it is quite a deviation, perfect for those adventurous people who wanted to watch something remarkably different. It eventually turns into a torture porn and the violence you get to witness was done for the sake of violence alone. The movie uses a stark black and white presentation, amplifying its somber, despicable mood. The way the centipede situation resolves itself is truly unforgivable and Martin will go down in history as one of the most evil characters to ever disgrace the silver screen. The story itself has some logical loopholes - they could have escaped Martin together at one point - but nonetheless, this is Martin's world after all. The version that I have watched is the international cut that clocks in at 88 minutes. After some research, a rape sequence and a self-mutilation scene were indeed shortened in this version of the film and of course, I am not entirely happy about that. Still, it is better than the UK cut with 3 more minutes of footage removed. I don't know if I should look forward to the unrated release. Perhaps I have seen too much already.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Review: Megan is Missing

Megan is Missing (2011)

Genre: Horror

Format: Netflix Stream

Director: Michael Goi

Now here's an interesting movie that actually manages to become a cautionary tale for parents as well as an exploitation cinema for the hardcore crowd. The only problem is, the film is so hard to watch that the former would be completely turned off by it. It also doesn't help that this film is probably not appropriate to be watched by younger viewers despite its focus on teen life.

Megan is Missing shamelessly combines the ongoings behind the 2004 murder of Carlie Brucia with the reference to Megan's Law and then then abused the "based on a true story" concept into the stratosphere. It's exploitative for sure but it's not without its merits. The entire movie is presented using supposedly collected video camera recordings of the 14 year old Megan and Amy, two best friends who are truly polar opposite to each other in terms of their personalities. Megan is addicted to drugs and boys while Amy is the school outcast who is not growing up as fast as the other girls. The movie does a very good job familiarizing you with the two girls and their daily lives, making their characters believable. The film takes its time to ensure that you could connect to one or both of these girls before they started communicating with who they think is a boy from another school by the name of Josh using online chat. At first, the film seemed to be quite tame even though the ideas involving the kidnappings and the potential murders of these girls are disturbing enough but then it decided to tie everything up with something remarkably brutal. The last twenty minutes or so is so dark and unforgiving: a nasty sequence of human suffering that is both extremely shocking and sad.

The only problem I have with the movie is that it tries to lighten up the situation somewhere in there with a rather comical representation of the news media and it seems so out of place in comparison to the ultra-realism that the movie is striving for. Other than that though, this is a powerful movie that enforces the idea of stranger danger to its fullest. With its creative storytelling device and its bitter, hard to swallow message that there are people out there who want to do us a lot of harm, Megan is Missing may be a bit deficient in its integrity but it certainly isn't missing a lot of impact.

RATING: 4 out of 5

Review: Insidious

Insidious (2011)

Genre: Horror

Format: DVD

Director: James Wan

When it comes to horror movies, nothing is more insidious than poor execution and even poorer story concept so it is quite fitting that this movie is called Insidious. The screenwriter/actor Leigh Whannel is back in an attempt to write something better than the first three Saw movies and failed miserably. To be fair, he did okay with Dead Silence... at least for the second half of the movie. A note to James Wan - you don't have to direct everything that Whannel writes. It's time to fly solo, my friend.

Insidious is a confused mess of ideas that never really takes off because it wants to be so many things. Is it a tale of a haunted house? Is it a superhero story? Is it a ghost story? Is it science fiction? Is it a dark fantasy? Is it a spiritual exploration? Heck if I know. Is it a bad movie? Oh yes it is. Basically, a little boy went into a coma after falling down a broken ladder. The doctor was not able to explain to his parents the cause of his comatose state - perhaps a concussion maybe doc? - and it was later revealed that it had something to do with the separation between the body and the soul. Oh brother. The film takes on this theme very seriously and that is all and well if not for the extremely uneven pacing and betrayed potentials. The first half of the movie was filled with a thick atmosphere of dread and there were definitely some truly horrifying moments when you get to see little fragments of spiritual beings manifesting themselves on screen. The second half of the movie went all out crazy with showing us what it means to be on the other side of the veil beyond the physical realm, a place that makes little to no sense even according to the film's own established rules. A note to Whannel - if you ran out of ideas midway while writing a screenplay, perhaps its best to start fresh with a new one.

If Wan and Whannel really wanted to make more money, here's an idea for them: Why not team up to make more Saw films? It feels a bit empty this year now that the Saw films have been discontinued. Since the sequels have been very, very successful, it seems like a good place for the duo to go back to. Then again, perhaps the franchise should be revived by more capable hands. The two out of five rating is for Lin Shaye flat-out stealing the show as a medium in what is definitely one of the worst horror movies ever made.

RATING: 2 out of 5

Review: Epitaph

Epitaph (2007)

Genre: Horror

Format: Netflix Stream

Director: The Jung Brothers

Epitaph is a horror anthology that revolves around the ongoings at one Anseng Hospital back in the 1940s during the Japanese occupation of Korea. It all started when an old college professor was reunited with a lost album with pictures that were taken while he was serving as a young intern at the aforementioned hospital.

There are three tales interwoven into the narrative: the first involves the young intern being given watch duty at the morgue with a couple of fresh corpses residing within, the second is a story of a young girl being haunted by visions of her dead parents, while the third is a murder mystery where Japanese soldiers are being targeted by a serial killer. All of these tales are linked to the hospital staff and what makes things a lot more interesting is that even though each story segment is told one at a time, the scenes between them overlap frequently while the timeline defies chronological adherence. Things can get a little confusing but if you follow along carefully, everything makes sense and it helps that each of the mini-stories are always punctuated with a shocking moment.

Though the supernatural elements are really strong, the movie seems to be more concerned about a theme that is more grounded in reality: loneliness. Epitaph can get downright creepy at times and some of the scare scenes are really horrific but the most unique thing about the movie is that the chills came from a very morose and extremely emotional place. Take the story of the girl who lost her parents - once it was revealed in detail what caused their demise, it was very hard to hold back the sorrow, especially leading towards that segment's cruel yet inevitable consequence. Epitaph is one of those rare horror movies that doubles as a potent tragedy, as evidenced by the flawed and tortured characters found within it.

With its twisted plot and disturbing horror, there is plenty of reason to love Epitaph. The historic setting also helps the movie gain an authentic blend of culture-clash in terms of both the look of the film as well as the characters and their background. The best part about this movie is that it tries to scare the living daylight out of you while making you sympathize with the fates of the characters involved in the horror - and that it truly succeeds in delivering both.

RATING: 4 out of 5

Review: I Saw the Devil

I Saw the Devil (2010)

Genre: Thriller

Format: Netflix HD Stream

Director: Kim Ji-woon

If you are looking for a revenge thriller than involves extreme violence, you should look no further than I Saw the Devil. This South Korean movie may lavishes itself in unrealistic scenarios of über carnage, taking away what could have been something a bit more cohesive, but with an unexpected plot development that will have you scratching your head and flinching your eyes, it makes for an entertaining ride into a dark world filled with murder and mayhem.

A serial killer made a horrible mistake when he brutally murdered a woman who just happened to be the engaged to a special agent who in turn decided to give the killer a taste of some pure vigilante justice. The utterly heinous killer is a repulsive scumbag who you probably want to eliminate with your own bare hands but what is interesting about this movie is that the special agent, Soo-hyun, decided to prolong the pain and suffering that he wanted to inflict upon the killer and this resulted in situations of destructive chaos for both himself and the killer. The movie likes to remind the audience that Soo-hyun has turned into a monster to rid of a monster but it didn't need to do that because it was so very obvious. At the beginning of the movie you will see that he's a soft-spoken man and a romantic, loving fiancé but as the situation with the serial killer escalates, all that training he got to become a special agent quickly turned him into a surgically precise, unfathomably cold, and relentless fighting machine.

As gory as this movie is, the brutal killings of the innocents are done off-screen. Apparently, the violence acts that you do get to witness on screen are being justified. This bias approach creates inconsistency and detachment when analyzing the movie as a whole. Sometimes, the most disturbing cinematic deaths do come from off-screen kills but that is not the case here. The fact that you get to see the extremely bloody, frenzied violence that occur to the unsavory characters completely  takes away any hint of savagery that was done on the innocents. Since the main motif here is the completion of a long, merciless, and meticulously planned revenge plot, it would have been good to capitalize on Soo-hyun's emotion. Though the ending seemed appropriate, it was also questionable whether to classify it as a success or failure for both of the opposing characters. What should have been explosively cathartic was just reduced to shockingly amusing but with such an overwrought plot, I should not have expected better.

I Saw the Devil may be void of any real payoff to the rough adventure that it puts you through but is still a fascinating movie to watch if you can stomach all the nasty blood and gore. There is hardly any dull moment as you are presented with one sadistic scene to the next. This one is only savage in its visuals but if you want something that can also ravage your emotion, try Park Chan-wook's Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance instead.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Review: Trapped Ashes

Trapped Ashes (2006)

Genre: Horror

Format: Netflix HD Stream

Directors: Joe Dante/Ken Russell

Sean S. Cunningham/Monte Hellman/John Gaeta

Isn't it interesting that there are not a lot of new horror movie anthologies out there? You would think that it would be easy enough to find three or more short horror tales and then cram them up into a feature film. Perhaps the filmmakers know that it's not as simple as things may seem. To pull off a successful horror anthology, you do need to worry about things like the overall pacing and also, each story segment has to be impactful so that the audience will stay interested along the ride. Trapped Ashes is able to cope with the former well but falls a little flat in the story telling department.

A bunch of people found themselves trapped in a large room of an old haunted house set-piece during their Hollywood studio tour. Their tour guide suggested that each of the guests share a personal true horror story to mimic a scene that took place in that very room and maybe, just maybe, they would be able to escape their confinement. The first tale started things off strong with a story about a pair of killer breasts: it's quite a disgusting body horror sequence that is also very humorous. The second tale involves a couple's travel to Japan and how the wife was disturbed by a demon from hell but even the authentic Japanese milieu cannot save this one from utter mediocrity. The most shocking part to this second tale is that it was directed by the Sean S. Cunningham! The fact that he replaced potential gross-out live actor sequences with bad anime is a testament that he has definitely lost his horror touch. The third tale doesn't fare as well either. It's about two good friends and a woman that comes between their friendship. The problem with it is that it's a bit too long with very little narrative fluctuation. Thankfully, the lull from the last two tales becomes a great setup for the explosive fourth tale that involves the story of a surrogate, non-biological twin. What is most impressive about this tale is that it is broodingly dark and depressingly emotional, almost scary even but most definitely very creepy. The actual trapped tourists framing device also has an interesting though somewhat predictable finish to its own story.

At the end of the movie, I was really baffled by the difference in quality between the two effective stories and their weaker counterparts. Surely sometime during the film-making process, it became obvious that the other two tales were just not up to par. Trapped Ashes is worth your time just for the first and last twin-related stories. If the other two tales were just as strong, this could have easily become a modern horror classic.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Review: Final Destination 5

Final Destination 5 (2011)

Genre: Horror

Format: Theatrical Release

Director: Steven Quale

Attention all horror movie lovers: The Final Destination series is back in its true form! The previous entry, The Final Destination, is certainly one of the worst movies ever made and nothing could ever redeem it from that pit of cinematic hell. Final Destination 5 however is able to retain the entertaining savagery and creativity of the second and third films.

The plot in these movies is simple: a bunch of people are able to escape deaths from a horrible disaster because of the premonition experienced by one of them. Then, one by one, they all started to die horribly because Death doesn't like to be cheated. This time around, a bunch of co-workers are able to save themselves from a monumental bridge collapse and man, the premonition scene that shows off the brutal ways they would have died there is quite horrific. More horrific however is what to follow as the survivors each encounter what would be normal everyday scenarios turn really, really bad. Of course you can't see Death in these movies and it presents itself as a series of innocent decisions made by the survivors or others around them that work their ways into becoming the cause of the survivors' unfortunate ends. Sometimes, it is easy to say that these people die because of their own undoing and that is the deliciously sadistic thing about the Final Destination films - note that when I mention good things about the series, they don't involve  the rotten trash that is The Final Destination. This movie contains, without a single doubt, one of the best death scenes in the entire series - the one involving the gymnast. Nothing, and I said nothing, can prepare you for the particular nastiness of this scene and the incredibly meticulous, sublime build up leading to the actual death is just pure genius! I watched the Real-D version of the movie and though the 3D effects look nice for the most part, they can be a bit distracting at times but at least they didn't cheapen the experience like they did in the last movie. Apparently, Steven Quale has worked with the technology with James Cameron before so he knows what he is doing and the entire film was indeed shot with a 3D camera but to be honest, I think it's time that we leave the 3D gimmickry behind us. Unlike Saw 3D where the 3D effects are used rather selectively, here Quale is pushing for the 3D look in almost every single scene of the film. Obviously, he was trying too hard. If you have to choose between the two, you won't miss anything just watching the standard 35mm print.

I was really worried about this franchise after The Final Destination debacle. Usually something that putrid is all you need to kill off what was a well-established movie series and it would have been a shame because of the unique concept behind these films. I am glad to see that Final Destination 5 is a success even if it is possible that this could be the franchise's final entry. It's good to stop things on a high note but I sure hope that we will get to see more of these movies in the future because of how good this one really is.

RATING: 4 out of 5

Here's how I rank the Final Destination movies from top to bottom:

Final Destination 2

Final Destination 3

Final Destination 5

Final Destination

The Final Destination

Review: The Tree of Life

The Tree of Life (2011)

Genre: Drama

Format: Theatrical Release

Director: Terrence Malick

Life is a mysterious place. We start to see and understand it only through the memories we collect over our lifetime, no matter how short or long our stay ends up being. The way we see this world and the way we react to it is defined by our own instinct, our nature, as well as the effects of the stimuli we faced, or the way that we have been nurtured. The Tree of Life is about all of these things. It's a languid, highly emotional representation of the very essence of the human experience even though the interpretation of that gets a bit too fantastical at times.

The film convey the universality of its meaning by focusing on a family of 5: A young couple and their 3 sons, though the focal point is mostly dominated by the eldest son. We get to spy on their most private activities, as individuals, or as a family. We get to learn the dynamics between the couple and the conflicting ways of their parenthood and how that impacts the growth of their children. There are many significant moments yet there are also many insignificant ones and both of those things can easily be interchangeable of course. The movie is mostly narrated via the voice-overs of the characters, which is of course Malick's favorite cinematic practice. These voice-overs are very revealing and it's easy to associate yourself with them because you do it all the time in your life. They are mostly random ramblings but that only makes the characters' thoughts feel more genuine.

Since the movie is mostly filled with voice-overs, the camera becomes free to move around to capture the scenes. The cinematography is gorgeous throughout and there are some truly remarkable nature footage to be found here. Sometimes, it feels like you are watching a National Geographic Specials because the movie likes to wander away from the family for lengthy periods of time. This is not a problem for the most part and it only becomes highly damaging when Malick attempted to capture imaginary moments that represent the world's scientific origins and its religious-based projection. These sections just feel out of place and since it is apparent that they bear a major significance to the movie by framing the collective experiences of the film's family unit, they make the movie inconsistent and staged when it should remain entirely organic in its flow.

The Tree of Life is Terrence Malick at his most obtuse. There are sparks of brilliance in the characters' nonchalant dialogues and their philosophical ramblings but in the end, the movie as a whole is a bit of a frustrating experience. It's hauntingly poetic and hypnotic when it works but it feels like you caught something in your eyes that you need to wash out when it stumbles. My spouse fell asleep for about 30% of the movie and the only other person watching it in the very empty theater walked out mid-way through so it also takes some degree of patience to endure this film. With that being said, The Tree of Life is still enjoyable but Malick needs to be more rooted to reality to give the movie the validity it craves for.

RATING: 3 out of 5

The Dark of Bay's Pimply Butt

I went out for a movie date with the spouse today. I really wanted to watch Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life but my spouse is into the Transformers movies so you know which movie we ended up watching. I have seen the first two movies and yes, they were beyond horrible. Unfortunately, Dark of the Moon - a title which refers to director Michael Bay practically  mooning us with this crappy piece of work - is not any better than the previous films. The special effects were great but everything else about the movie was just bad. When it was all over - I was surprised that I was still alive - I walked out of the theater with a painful headache because:

1) at 2 and a half hours, the movie was just way too long because the plot was so pedestrian.

2) a bunch of the Autobots have unnecessarily racial/international accents when they speak and these were complemented with the "proper" facial representations.

3) Sam Witwickey now has a British girlfriend... What? I heard about the whole Megan Fox situation - producer Steven Spielberg apparently has no sense of humor - but this coupling made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.

4) the convenient robot deaths... So they can slash and shoot at each other for days on end without anybody dying until they input some secret fatality command to finish each other off.

As I was staring at Michael Bay's @$$, I realized that it wasn't pimply at all. No Sir... It was actually rather smooth and muscular. Very tight and defined. But then I noticed the curious dark-green ooze sloppily spreading out from between the cheeks. Yeah, that was Transformers: Dark of the Moon to me.

Review: Scream 4

Scream 4 (2011)

Genre: Horror

Format: Theatrical Release

Director: Wes Craven

Ah, the Scream trilogy... I have so many fond memories from them. The second being the best while the third was good but it was somewhat of a disappointment, ensuring the end of what could have probably been a never ending list of sequels. But what is this? 11 years after the last movie, here we are again with a brand new Scream movie still being directed by Wes Craven but now complete with Kevin Williamson doing the screenplay. Being a fan of the first three, I was of course very excited by the prospect. The reality of the situation however ended up being less promising than it should have been.

Sydney Prescott, the heroine from the first three films decided to return to Woodsboro to launch her new book. Of course she just had to do this during the anniversary date of the original Woodsboro murders. Soon, people started to die left and right by a killer wearing the "Ghostface" mask so Sydney, alongside Gale and the still goofy but less charming Dewey found themselves at the epicenter of the murderous rampage. The movie started off really strong but the rest of the film lacks the frenetic energy found in the previous entries. The set pieces for the murders were not even remotely creative and even though somewhere in the self-reflexive dialogues between the characters an implication was made about the desensitization of violence via movies like the Saw franchise, Scream 4 could have benefited from a nastier, more menacing presentation of horror. To make things a little more depressing, the movie within the movie moments in the form of the Stab films - movies based on the Woodsboro murders that existed in the Scream universe -  were actually a lot more fun the actual Scream 4 movie. With two more Scream movies supposedly going to be made after this disappointing return, perhaps they should just scrap off that plan and make an actual Stab movie instead since Craven seemed to have the most fun with the Stab scenes.

Though the movie took a rather creative approach with the identity of the person responsible for the killings during this go-round, the speech that followed where the killer explained the motives for the murders was just too elaborate and long, killing off whatever excitement that got generated from the reveal. Scream 4 is just filled with so many potentials, especially after having access to 10 years worth of horror conventions to poke fun with. Instead, the film itself became a bad joke because it is in itself, a strange kind of remake of a franchise that doesn't really require one. Instead of keeping its own identity of a smart but brutal horror movie, it lost both as the script was lackluster and the killings just seemed desperate. The attractive cast from the previous films may still look the same as they did before but Scream 4 has significantly aged the franchise and it just cannot keep up with the times. Mr. Craven, 4 is enough. Please, no more sequels! Especially when the result is this poor.

RATING: 2 out of 5

Review: Shiki


Because of my video gaming habits, I don't sit down to watch broadcast television from a very young age. These days, I do try to find television shows to watch from digital venues such as Netflix, Hulu, and other official stream channels. I fail to see the allure watching scheduled shows - do people really still do that? I imagine that people would sit down with their family at night watching recorded shows so that they could skip through commercial breaks. Maybe not. Live shows? They are overrated me I am afraid - these things should happen on my time schedule. Since I don't watch football, I tend to spend my time playing video games on Super Bowl Sunday. Every so often in my quest to watch something passively instead of playing video games I would encounter incredible television shows that I would have regretted not seeing if I focus solely on one hobby. Shiki is one of those shows. This 22-episode anime series that was originally aired in Japan in 2010 is being streamed for free by its American distributor Funimation. You can check out the awesome stream by clicking here.

Shiki tells a story of a secluded Japanese village that is being plagued by an ever increasing number of mysterious deaths. The local doctor is unable to find the cause of the problem as the body counts continue to rise. Mostly inhabited by simple-minded people, a majority of them comprised of old folks, only a few suspected that the new family that has just moved in to a remote sector in the village where a western-style mansion was recently built had something to do with the entire thing. As you may suspect from the plot, this is a tale of vampiric-nature but even with its adherence to the established rules involving these bloodsuckers, the way the story is told is quite refreshing and the characters, both the humans and the undead are deeply fascinating.

There are so many characters in the show and the way that scenes move rather rapidly from one to the other, not to mention the never ending changes in time and place, can be a bit too much at the beginning but the reason for this will be quite evident at the later stages of the story and by then, you will be able to assign the names to their appropriate faces. Shiki takes its time to build up but from the beginning, it is obvious that the story will be a somber, dark one. There is that theme of helplessness and seclusion, as exemplified by the symbolic location of the village and the inner demons of the main characters. The only thing that didn't work out so well for me was the subplot of a Junior Monk who is trying to discover himself through a novel that he is writing. The monk ends up being one of the most important characters in the tale but he is also the weakest characterization of the bunch. Be warned that the show is filled with deaths around each corner and before everything is settled in the end, you have to go through a heavily emotional and extremely unforgiving climax. There is an interesting morality play to Shiki involving the idea of the hunter and the hunted as well as its role reversal. Is there truly a valid justification to murder when life has always been about survival of the fittest in all of its aspects? Whether its a human losing a life or an undead losing its own forever, the aftertaste will always be a bitter one.

Shiki is definitely one of the best anime series I have seen thus far with my two top favorites being Boogiepop Phantom and Death Note. Despite the unnatural hair shapes and colors infused into the art style, there is an incredible level of maturity to the storyline and the show really plays out its ideas to the fullest, never for a single episode deviating from its sordid roots. Shiki's potent combination of drama and horror is an experience that I will never forget. It is also another brilliant showcase from Japan that animation can certainly do a lot more than what live action can bring to the table. Watch Shiki now before they stop streaming it.

RATING: 5 out of 5

Review: Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch (2011)

Genre: Action

Format: Theatrical Release

Director: Zack Snyder

I love Zack Snyder for one and only one reason - the fantastic remake of Dawn of the Dead - until now. Most people probably give him accolades for 300 and Watchmen but I found those two movies to be too visually-excessive while leaving me with a huge void when it comes to the emotional pay-off. With Sucker Punch, Snyder have found the right balance between stunning his audience with over-the-top, stylish visuals and giving them enough story content.

Sucker Punch is a movie about a young woman who was admitted into a mental asylum by her evil stepfather. While there, she began to frequent a fantasy world where she must complete a quest to collect a number of important items that will assist her in escaping the mental institution. There is a gimmick of a story within a story within a story in the film though the real impact of the reality of the situation is reserved until the unpredictable finale. The thing about the storyline is that it makes little to no sense sometimes, as if things just happen for the reason to entertain the audience with wild and varied action set pieces. Then again, there is a deep and thoughtful message applied to the whole scenario, making the movie meaningful in a sort of crazy way. It is hard to explain the movie than it is to feel it. For all of the superhuman feats shown by the lovely ladies of the asylum during the action sequences, their frailties outside of those scenes become more and more apparent as the film progresses. To release the energy of high fantasy and then turn it around into a thought-provoking drama is something that takes some degree of genius and for that, I really appreciate the maturity applied to the overall tale.

The movie is filled with a lot of CG and though they don't look all that convincing, they fit the film's aesthetics perfectly. Even outside of the fantasy situations, the movie maintains a moody, artificial look to it. The action scenes are a lot of fun to watch and the fact that there are a wide variety of enemies and situations encountered throughout the movie, you will at least enjoy some of them if not all if you are into the genre. The movie doesn't waste any time moving you along to the next grandiose battle when one is over and done with so there is hardly any dull moment. Then, there is this really odd transition mechanics that transports you between the multiple layers of storytelling - it is so perplexing and mesmerizing at the same time because it doesn't even try to explain itself. This is probably one of the main reasons why the movie is so intriguing to begin with.

I really wanted to watch Insidious tonight but my significant other insisted on Sucker Punch. When you are in love, you have to make sacrifices but I am just glad that this movie ended up being quite entertaining. It is  pretty as well as pretty weird and it is brilliant by trying to appear dumbed down. It uses a lot of established conventions found in other action movies but it is unlike anything you have ever seen before because of its clever story framing device. Sucker Punch is very unique and I am definitely very impressed by it.

RATING: 4 out of 5

A Double Japanese Movie Sunday

What better way to spend half of a Sunday besides running out to pick up the Nintendo 3DS for some of you than to chill out with a couple of crazy Japanese movies over Netflix's HD stream. I watched two of them back to back - alone by the way since my significant other was away - and while the first one almost made me doubt that I was doing the right thing this afternoon, at least the second movie brought the whole session into a rousing close.

First on the list was Robogeisha, a 2010 movie by Noboru Iguchi. Perhaps the most fascinating things about Japan to me - second to its video gaming revolution - are the geisha so I expected that this movie was going to be entertaining from the get go. As if that wasn't enticing enough, the promise of a cyborg geisha made me very giddy inside. Unfortunately, this movie fell short when it tried to take itself a little too seriously, deviating from its ridiculous premise and hilarious beginning.

Robogeisha tells a story of two sisters who got kidnapped by a secret organization that trains geisha into deadly assassins. These geisha assassins are then tasked to kill off targets who are deemed to be a threat to Japan. Things are not what they seem however and eventually, the sisters found themselves being altered with robotic parts... mostly for their own satisfaction. But enough about the plot. When you are watching about a movie called "Robogeisha", you want to see some sick and sexy action but sadly, despite some creative weaponry like swords that stick out of the geisha's armpits and buttocks, the fight scenes are mostly boring and the bad special effects are way overused. I don't expect to see expensive, Hollywood quality CGI when watching a Japanese movie but its implementation here went beyond cheesy and into the real of lazy. There are a couple of interesting blood-gusher scenes but the when you use CG blood explosions, make sure to at least dab some blood on the corpses afterwards.

The real problem with this movie however is the inconsistent storytelling. There was this "sibling rivalry" theme in the movie that really brought the level of fun and energy of the movie down because it was suddenly turned into "sisterly-love" right before your eyes leading towards the rather somber climax. If the film just stayed as a nonsensical action/comedy, it would have worked better. Seeing the sisters fight each other was fun, but seeing them pretend to care about each other was not and actually seeing the movie trying to create an emotional situation out of nothing was just bad. [RATING: 2 out of 5]

Next was the 2009 film directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura and Naoyuki Tomomatsu called Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl and yes, the whole thing is as kick-butt as its title implied. This movie was obviously inspired by the Twilight films but it is a lot more fun than any of the films from that series combined - yes, I do watch the Twilight movies. Instead of a moody vampire guy with sparkles on his skin, we are presented with a vampire girl in the form of a new high school transfer student. She becomes interested in the most popular guy in school and later took him away from his "girlfriend"  rather aggressively. The girlfriend retaliated of course and that eventually lead to her death and resurrection... Then, you guessed it, the two fight once again to claim the man that they both so desperately want to keep for themselves.

The setup is rather straightforward and this movie is filled with extreme gore. The vampire girl isn't dainty and that is what makes the movie endlessly fascinating. The way she fulfills her desire for blood is very disturbing and even though she is made to be the heroine of the tale, there's just something about her that is just not good. The daily high school life presented here is definitely not realistic with things like the wrist-cutter club and a borderline offensive club for girls who are into a sort of "reverse Michael Jackson". Speaking of the wrist-cutter club, there is a must see movie moment of a wrist-cutter drive that is just an absolute riot to watch, especially with the way that the event ended.

Vampire Girl is a goofy romance with just a hint of sappiness. It is more of a horror comedy with a nasty twisted ending too that was really well thought of. The movie doesn't rely too much on CGI unlike Robogeisha and the extremely bloody moments manage to be cheesy, sickening, and shocking all at the same time. Who needs the realism of young love when you can have a bloody massacre from your vampire film, right? [RATING: 4 out of 5]

Review - Battle: Los Angeles

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

Genre: Action

Format: Theatrical Release

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Haven't I seen this before and wasn't the film pretty darn horrible too? Oh, I have mistaken this movie for the rotten Skyline, which has absolutely no redeeming value. Apparently, Los Angeles is the new "it" location for alien invasion movies. And I always thought that aliens would always try to attack Washington first...

Battle: LA is thankfully a lot more entertaining than that awful movie I mentioned previously whose title should never be referenced ever again in the rest of human history. Suspicious meteor showers are hitting the coastal cities of the world and it wasn't long before alien creatures start to emerge from the ocean to wreak havoc to the surrounding areas. Of course, as the movie title proudly claims, we the viewers only get to the see the bulk of the action with what is happening in good old LA. Instead of focusing on the spoiled and the rich who littered the LA streets, the movie follows a group of marines who are tasked to secure a location and save the civilians along the way. This movie is actually less a sci-fi extravaganza than it is your standard war movie in a wonky setting.

Battle: LA goes for that gritty, realistic feel with its amateurish shaky camera and muted color scheme. Even the action doesn't ramp up until about halfway through and for the most part, you just get to see the marines shouting at each other and shooting randomly at the enemies in low visibility areas. I thought that the first half of the movie was not very interesting and that whole "sergeant who feels like he has to quit from serving because he lost his men in a previous deployment" was just too forced and you can see where the narrative is going when you are first smacked right in the face by that little detail. There is one genuinely emotional moment involving a death however but even that was quickly turned into what seemed to be a five minute long cheesy speech. It's like the movie tried so hard to build up to that one moment and then it quickly changed its mind because perhaps things got a little too serious. One should not expect to find an engrossing storyline when watching this kind of movie but since Battle: LA is not all about the action, the flaw in the writing is ever more present. The special effects in the movie range from "Sci-Fi Channel Special" bad to really good so maybe there was a problem with the budget. The aliens are neither menacing nor original and you never feel like their presence are all that threatening, which is of course a little disappointing.

This movie is mediocre at its best and it is seriously misleading. For a worldwide conflict that it suggested, the movie felt a bit too confined and the moments leading up to the end were a little too clean. It is half military drama, half science fiction, and one great fight sequence that wasn't even the climax. It could have been better with more spectacles involving the death and destruction caused by the invaders but I understand that they wanted to accomplish something a little different here and all I can say is that at least they tried.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Review: A Single Man

A Single Man (2009)

Genre: Drama

Format: Blu-ray

Director: Tom Ford

I am sure that many of us would agree that we don't like to think about our mortality while living our daily lives. It is a fact that everyone dies and it is also a fact that sometimes, we live as if this life will go on forever. There is probably a good reason why we should not dwell on death because it would take a lot from our enjoyment of living in the moment. The loss of a loved one can change all of that however and that is what this movie is all about.

George Falconer is a professor teaching at a university in the 1960s Los Angeles. He is still mourning over the death of his life partner, Jim, who died from a car accident several months ago. The lack of closure that came with Jim's sudden demise has completely taken over his will to live. The movie shows us a day in the life of the lonely professor as he tries to cope with the utter sense of longing and abandonment from losing someone he desperately loves. Many things remind him of the good times but those only push him further into depression.

Though this movie brings with it the usual trappings of a suppressed gay love in a time when such thing is not socially acceptable - sadly, it is still a bane to a lot of people even to this day - but the great thing about A Single Man is that it is more about the issue of coping with the aftermath of death versus the difficulty of maintaining or consummating such a relationship. This is exemplified by the love interests that present themselves to George throughout the progression of the day. Investing into somebody new is not that difficult. It's letting go of someone you have loved so dearly that is the real dilemma here.

A Single Man may not leave a lasting impression as Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain. It is more constrained and certainly less emotional. The new love subplot may be pushing things just a little bit when it comes to the realism of the situation but it does become a necessary plot device when the final moment of the film is finally revealed. The movie is still affecting and the pain presented here is certainly universal. It also has Julianne Moore with a British accent - that in itself just cannot be missed!

RATING: 3 out of 5

Review: Black Swan

Black Swan (2010)

Genre: Psychological Drama

Format: Theatrical Release

Director: Darren Aronofsky

Ever since he blew my mind away with the masterpiece Requiem for a Dream, I have been waiting for Darren Aronofsky to give us something extraordinary again. The Fountain was good but it was emotionally-lacking because of its far-fetched science fiction concept and The Wrestler was just too timid of a story. With Black Swan, Aronofsky is definitely closer to greatness again though it still isn't incredible enough to be his second master work.

Nina Sayers is a ballet dancer who dreams to make it big and she finally gets her wish when she is selected to be the Swan Queen in a major production of Swan Lake. A fragile, innocent soul who is an obedient slave to her art in the first place, the added responsibility threatens to destroy her life and she begins to suffer from paranoia and delusions. You see, Nina is a perfectionist who lacks self-confidence. She has no life outside of ballet and even at home, she spends most of the time practicing in front of a mirror with her overly protective mother always close by so she is never afforded any privacy of her own. At the ballet theater, the arrival of a new dancer brings escalating insecurities and the sexual tension between herself and the director is not helping the situation. All of these things eventually lead an exhilarating climax of the film where the viewers are left unsure of whether or not Nina would survive the entire psychological ordeal.

The film's idea of the double becomes really obvious once it starts the whole discussion of Nina playing the roles of both the White Swan and the Black Swan but the way that the theme is presented throughout the movie is less so. Aronofsky likes to use mirrors in a lot of the scenes to show the defragmentation of Nina's psyche. One thing that I found really fascinating is how the film is able to showcase the sinister side to the strict discipline of ballet. The pointed feet in ballet are supposed to be a thing of graceful beauty but the way that they are presented here comes across as incredibly menacing. Natalie Portman, who was horrible in those Star Wars films she's well-known for, redeemed herself in this film with a raw, emotional performance as Nina. She captured the essence of a young woman struggling to make everyone happy while sacrificing herself quite convincingly and some of the really desperate moments truly transformed her into something else - the variances of facial expressions even made her unrecognizable at times. Mila Kunis who played the rival dancer however was her regular jovial self, nothing too special there. Look out for the impressive appearance from Winona Ryder though. After that shoplifting accident, she has been been really, really good with her acting performances it seems.

Black Swan, just like Aronofsky's own The Wrestler, is a story of what could happen when one is just too obsessed with one's work. That is not necessary a bad thing however because sometimes to achieve the best, one has to lose oneself somewhat in the process. There is a fine line between genius and insanity and that is the major dilemma here. The film itself is a little bit of both but that is what you get when you put on a pair of ballet shoes of a woman who is slowly losing her mind for the sake of art.

RATING: 4 out of 5