Bad Game Term: Rear Touch

Ah, the PlayStation Vita. The handheld that is pretty much already dead to me. It promised console quality graphics but then gave us sub-standard non-high definition display instead that was intentionally clouded by the hype of its supposedly super-sexy OLED screen. It is so horrible when it comes to internal storage due to its highway robbery, sold separately proprietary memory units that digital distribution, which is the true future of video gaming, will not flourish on it. For a device that is released in 2012, it still has incredibly long load time. Yes, Vita, you are dead. I will just buy the games that are exclusively made for you when they eventually lose that exclusivity and are released for the PlayStation 3 - they did that for the exclusive games on the PlayStation Portable to generate income for Sony and they will do it to Vita exclusive games. The one thing you do have however is your cute little case for your games. But wait, wait... What is this on the back cover? Rear Touch? Really?

Those who want to touch a rear, please raise your hand!

Isn't that borderline suggestive? I mean, it may make sense that the people responsible for this actually wanted to infuse some sexual innuendo into the PS Vita experience to make the whole thing feels sexy instead of just merely being a desperate attempt to monopolize the handheld market where they don't belong to strategically. Just look at that image and that name. Hm, rear touch.... That finger is placed so gently between two round "cheeks". Maybe Sony is actually conveying the fact that they have stuck a finger up the rears of gamers who bought one of these doomed handhelds? But before I get so carried away here, let's just talk about that term to finish things off. "Rear Touch Pad". Why can't it be named something cooler like "Back Sensor"? Just a "Touch Pad" would work too but adding that "Rear" in there just doesn't feel right to me. Well, to be frank, the idea of controlling things using a "Rear Touch Pad" is not that intuitive. It's just a sad attempt by Sony to combat Nintendo's dual screen handhelds. Sony got it right with the dual analog sticks (though they are horribly flimsy) but they got a bit too carried away when they added the whole rear thing.