Saturday, January 9, 2010

Personal Tragedy

Yesterday was not a good day for me and things may get tougher in the following days depending on how things go. Ccelia, a very close friend of mine is currently in the hospital, still unconscious from a heart attack from early yesterday morning. I went to visit yesterday and stayed there until early in the evening. She is using a ventilator and is currently in a comatose state. It was very hard to see her in her current predicament and though things look grim, I still want to keep a positive outlook on the situation, hoping that she is going to be able to come out of this alive. Besides being a close friend, I have always considered her as a mother figure to me since relationship between me and my biological mother is nonexistent.

About three years ago, I gave Ccelia a Nintendo DS as a present when I heard that she likes playing card games on the Personal Computer. It's always a hassle for her to play at night with the laptop on her bed, so I thought the NDS would be perfect for her. Alongside the handheld, I also got her Clubhouse Games and Nintendog. Though she always has problems with Nintendog's voice recognition commands, she often tells me that she plays Clubhouse Games every night before she goes to sleep and that she always have the NDS with her wherever she goes for quick gameplay sessions. Just recently, I let her borrow Brain Age and Hotel Dusk because she wants to try some new things with the handheld. This was after we played Cooking Mama, Nanostray 2, and Personal Training: Coooking together.

Being an atheist, I do not have a grand outlook on the afterlife. Though I understand that some people need religions to live a sane existence, they are outdated tools to control the flow of society. So death is not merely a transition, but the ultimate end - thus it is more impactful for me. I hope that Ccelia is going to pull through. The hospital is going to do a brain wave scan today to see if there is still any activity in her brain. I am hoping for the best and though I am prepared for the worst, my heart is constantly heavy with the fear of losing someone I love.

Update Note: 11:47pm - As we feared, the neurologist informed us that there is little amount of activities showing in Ccelia's brain and that there is no sign of higher brain functions. She is no longer with us and only her bodily shell remains. Today is one of the saddest days in my life.

Update Note: 01/12/2010 - Ccelia passed away yesterday evening.

Life is a quick stream of consciousness and memories...
Ccelia, I hope to see you smile and laugh again.


Blake said...

So Sorry to hear about your loss.

I wish you all the best in this trying time.

Loner Gamer said...

Thank you. I really appreciate that.