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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Achievements: No Place is Safe!

I have seen some truly stupid achievements in the past, like this one where the developer hypnotizes you into killing your own friend in battle, but last night, I think I can say now that I have seen it all. So I got Hitman: Absolution for the Personal Computer over the weekend from the Square Enix Sale on Steam and since the game has a benchmark tool, I proceeded to run it to make sure that the game would play nicely with all the settings maxed out. I was blown away by how magnificent the game looked, even though the overall frame rate fluctuates between 40+ to 70+ per second. Then, out of nowhere: POP! SURPRISE! An achievement. It happened so fast and unexpectedly that I couldn't get to the F12 Steam screenshot key before the pop-up disappeared. Upon immediate investigation, I found out that the achievement that I just unlocked was called "Take me to the geek", which was awarded for running the benchmark...

Next, I imagine some bold developers adding an achievement for exiting their games?

I know chie/phie whores do not understand the meaning behind achieving something since they only view these "task unlockers" as a way for them to justify themselves actually playing a video game but it is apparent now that even developers are getting pretty darn lazy in the creation of unnatural things for a zombie to do in a game. I am so glad that at least this stupid achievement is a Steam exclusive because at least it doesn't encourage unnecessary whoring, especially the fact that every PC gamer would run that benchmark before they actually play the game. Maybe the whole thing was a joke? I'm not laughing.

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