Facing the Facts: Gamer Friend Is Gamer Lover

I don't need a close gaming friend. No, for me to say I do is a lie. A close gaming friend doesn't fit my current life situation. Having a close gaming friend means that I have to allow him or her to come into the Game Room. I just cannot imagine having a mere friend be in this special room with me and just sharing a portion of what I have by doing the actual gaming somewhere else seems to be counter-productive to what I wanted to accomplish in the first place. I don't think finding someone who has access to the same amount of video gaming stuff as much as I do while enjoying each other's personality is even remotely possible. I am getting older, I don't have the luxury of time to get to know someone at a deeper level to feel comfortable enough with them to enjoy being together with that person as we cherish our gaming hobby. I don't know how much longer I get to live. I am not a social person to begin with to be fully accommodating to a close gaming friend. The only person I can feel social with for the most part would be my spouse. Apparently, gaming acquaintances are not enough for me. These are the people I meet on the Internet, people that I would never even meet face to face in my lifetime. People who don't give a flying fuck about me, who would use me only when it's convenient for them. What I have been looking for all this time was a lover who is also a gamer. A gamer lover. Well, that's too late right now isn't it? I am already in a relationship that I am happy with. So to pursue this itch, this desire I have to combat my gaming loneliness, it involves breaking up a marriage, severing a friendship, destroying a love that has been built and maintained over the majority of my adult life. No, that just can't happen. I just can't have this person I am looking for to satiate my recent gaming troubles. Let's kill that goal right here, right now. I don't need a close friend who games. I want a lover who does. Sometimes in life, you just can't have everything you want.

I have better things to obsess about. Like making sense of my weird new dual screen setup.