Battle of the Sexiest Current-Gen Consoles

3 beauties, coated in black, dripping with desperation and forever left behind by Personal Computer technologies. These are our current generation consoles. They are usually referred to by their incorrect pronoun of "next-gen" when in truth, all new consoles are immediately "current-gen" the moment they are released, and as stated above, forever behind in terms of raw power because these consoles are usually announced way in advance to get potential buyers drooling. Let's face it, if a gaming device can't be upgraded and doesn't support old releases - measured in the console world as previous generation forever hopeful of being "backwards compatible" - it's just bad design. Nevertheless, I am getting too distracted because we are actually here to determine the winner of "The Sexiest Current-Gen Consoles" award. Here are the results!

Coming in 3rd is the X-Box Series X! It's a bold design choice, opting for a boxy appearance yet hiding a delicious, concaved ventilation top/side depending on how you choose to lie down with the console. It's a real missed opportunity however, because it could have been accented with beautiful LED lights, especially from under the previously mentioned vents. You want the console to reek power and domination. Instead, all you get is the smell of metallic vapor being pushed out of those vents when you try to get too close to the XSX.

The PlayStation 5 is the runner-up but not without cheating. You see, this is an ugly, ugly console out of the box and the only way you can make it sexy is if you choose to spend more cash on a new faceplate. And when I said ugly, I mean it's disgustingly ugly. I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Mark Cerny was involved in the creation of the console. Still, once you have removed the default white faceplate, suddenly, the console becomes something else entirely. Go ahead, find the fanciest looking faceplate on the market and stop yourself from going blind staring at that default white faceplate.

THE WINNER!

A surprise contender?! Merging the sinister curvature of the PS5 with the stoicism of the XBX, plus the mysticism of an Alienware PC, this big, bold HBAR console is whisper quiet yet dominating in its presence. Just like its console brethren, to someone who loves gaming despite of platforms, what it excels in most is at... accumulating dust! Unlike the PS5 or the XSX however, this one is not only aesthetically stunning, but it will also be used a lot more. As a matter of fact, instead of being in a sleep state, it's on all time. A true winner!