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Thursday, September 4, 2008

Review: Starship Troopers 3 - Marauder


Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Genre: Action
Format: Blu-ray
Director: Edward Neumeier


Just because it has a new bug doesn't mean that it's a better movie.

Have you ever had your intelligence insulted so badly that you got a terrible headache from it? Well if you haven't and would love to experience exactly that, then this direct to home release is right for you. The original Starship Troopers by Paul Verhoeven is one of my favorite movies of all time and for it to get continually disrespected by shameless sequels is a cinematic crime.

I am still not sure which is stiffer: Jolene Blalock's outfit or her acting?

The screenwriter of the series, Edward Neumeier, is now also at the helm. It is quite hard to believe that the same guy who was responsible for the original has produced something this bad. You get to meet Johnny Rico, the hero from the first movie, who is now stationed at a remote military outpost fighting the good war against the hordes of alien bugs. When the arrival of the popular Federation Sky Marshall resulted in an all out bug war, it seems as if a terrible plot has been put in motion to eliminate both the esteemed visitor and Rico. The writing is weak and the infomercials that segwayed the different scenes are now completely overdone and lost all of their satirical quality. Just like Starship Troopers 2: Heroes of the Federation, the film combines new creature effects (you can tell by how terrible they look) with those found in the original movie. I found this method to be quite lazy especially when the good effects are placed on top of low resolution backgrounds - they look quite disorienting. The one thing that really propels this from bad to a complete waste of time is the extreme religious overtone. It's like Neumeier was recently touched by an angel - most likely by something less desirable. The whole question of god and faith is handled so haphazardly it feels like Neumeier is certainly serious in his message while failing miserably in his attempts to make it look like he's ridiculing the subject: a sneaky approach that is both as preachy as it is repulsive.


Neumeier got religion... And he got it bad.

This is definitely one of the worst movies I have seen in my whole life. If the disc I used was not a rental, I would have destroyed it for I fear that someone else may get a hold of it and be assaulted by viewing it. Yes it is that bad. In the process of analyzing the war on bugs, Neumerier has become one of the bugs himself.

RATING: 1 out of 5

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Starship Troopers was, and still is, one of my favourite movies. It was brilliant on every count, because the SFX in some parts are still breathtaking ten years later and the action scenes just don’t take themselves at all seriously and are so much the better for it. You could see how the film could have been truly awful, like if they’d had the same script but without the self-referential nods to the genre as a whole. But thankfully Paul Verhoeven nailed it first time, especially with the infomercials you mentioned, and if someone doesn’t like Starship Troopers then it’s because they don’t get it (and an alarmingly large number of people don’t get it, sadly).

Now, I’ve not seen Starship Troopers 3, but I have seen Starship Troopers 2. And I’ve got to say that it was singularly the worst film I’ve ever watched in my life. None of the original cast returned, none of the SFX returned, and nobody with any brain cells returned to write the script. Probably the most predictable plot I’ve ever seen in my life, and some of the worst acting too. I literally paid 50 pence for the film, and I felt ripped off.

Glad to see that things have improved for Starship Troopers 3 then.

Anonymous said...

Glad to find another fan of the original. Yes, the original by Paul Verhoeven is definitely one of the best movies ever made and yes some of the SFX still look light-years better than what you can see from CG effects in current films.

Starship Troopers 2 was definitely quite awful. If you thought that was terrible, believe me... This one is ten times worse.