Thursday, May 30, 2013

This is How You Treat Your All-Stars?

Let's admit it, Nathan Drake from those Uncharted games for the PlayStation 3 is one sexy fucker. When it comes to male game characters, it's hard to compete with Mr. Drake's truly artificial yet perfectly presented combination of handsome face, capable physique, and charming wit. The only good looking male character in a video game that comes close to him would probably be, I don't know... Bayman from the Dead or Alive series? But yeah, Bayman is all looks and no personality but let's save that for a future discussion. What I really want to talk about here is that PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale game, a game that was obviously built with the PS3/Vita cross-buy in mind. Even though I absolutely love the creativity of the battlegrounds found in this game, where they mashed-up elements from two different titles into each set pieces resulting in creamy delicious spectacles and joy, we all know the PS3 is more capable than this. Apparently, you can't have the PS3 version of the game looking super mega hot while the Vita version looking all awkward and nasty. But what does Drake's hotness got anything to do with the discussion? Let me show you:

How do you make a mediocre game palatable? Let the players control this...

Bear in mind that this screenshot is from the first Uncharted game.

Now tell me, is this man below the same guy from the Uncharted series?

Still having a hard time deciding? Let's see the in-game character model then:

Who is this guy? It doesn't even come close to the graphically simpler Drake from the first game!

By now, it should be clear that Sony doesn't care about protecting the image of their supposed "All-Stars" with the representation of Nathan Drake being the most serious offender in this game. I rather just have this game on the PS3 with glorious graphics than getting a free copy for my Vita and having to settle with such visual nastiness. It should also be very clear that this thing that supposed to be Nathan Drake in PlayStation All-Stars is not the real McCoy. How do I know? Well, he didn't make me, uh, feel things... and that he is nothing but an eye-sore! I am going to go wash my eyes now.

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