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Friday, September 27, 2013

Steam Controller Is Coming? Kill It Valve, Kill It!

Valve did a great job building up the anticipation and excitement over their "living room" domination plan but after the two exciting pieces of news from earlier this week, it all ended anticlimactically.  Apparently, Valve not only have living room envy, they also have penis envy, I mean controller envy so they created this truly unimpressive, sad little controller that will supposedly mimic the accuracy of keyboard and mouse controls on those games that thrive from using such setup:

A sloppy overreach.

I mean, seriously, just hook up a wireless keyboard and mouse to your "living room" setup - I still think if you are serious about gaming, you should have your own Game Room - and set aside a small folding table that you can pull out whenever you want to play a keyboard and mouse game. I think there are specialized chairs that can accommodate having a keyboard and mouse in front of you. Just to be clear Valve, your claim that "Whole genres of game that were previously only playable with a keyboard and mouse are now accessible from the sofa" is a lie. You know people can bring their keyboard and mouse to the living room if they wanted to. I personally don't see this thing replacing keyboard and mouse gameplay, it's really silly to even entertain that thought. But again, I think this is just Valve's way to say that everything is playable on some kind of small controller to encourage their desire to get into everyone's living room. Just thinking about simulating my mouse movement using that right trackpad and then pressing trigger buttons for the left and right mouse clicks already seem like a lot of work for me. Thankfully, this thing is just an alternative to pure keyboard and mouse gameplay. You never know, this controller may actually work well but in all seriousness, I really doubt it. I am glad that Valve included the following bits of information, if not, I would have been more offended by this controller:

If you are so confident about this controller Valve,
why not mandate it for DOTA 2Yeah, you know that will never happen.

What a disappointing end to a whole week of waiting. Why did you have to ruin my Friday, Valve? Don't you have better things to do than creating a controller, like planning for another Steam sales week maybe?

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