Christmas Gifts for Demanding Gamers

So you know someone like me, a gamer who has it all, and you want to get this person a Christmas gift. Well, there is a really easy route to complete this task: which will fail to impress the individual, but a gift is a gift right? This includes getting the latest Call of Duty games (without even checking with the person if he or she already owns the game), buying popular gaming magazines or guides to the latest games that you suspected the person is playing, or paying for a gift card to Best Buy or GameStop which is quite insulting to a high-end gamer. Worry not troubled shopper, I am here to guide you through this difficult time as you rush to get the ultimate gamer gift. I know you have had enough of the fake smiles, the overblown reactions, and the quick head turns when all you ever wanted is to do is show the gamer you love that you mean well.

Option I - RTX 4090

Forget the cheaper RTX 4080, no ma'am, you got to go for gold and get one of these if the gamer happened to have a Personal Computer. With the ugliest of games requiring a nonsensical amount of VRAM - I'm looking at you Steelrising - the ample 24 GB of G6X memory found in this unit will satisfy the requirement of any modern games... until mid-2023 when more games suddenly want 30+ GB of VRAM just because. Your gamer recipient will be shocked to have the GPU in his or her lap because it's actually impossible to get this at a reasonable price at the moment, which means that a) you must think the gamer is really that special, or b) that gamer now suspect that you may have committed a crime to score one of these.

Option II - Platform Specific Gift Cards

Fact: Not all gamers go to GameStop. As a matter of fact, most of them don't and try their best to avoid going to that awful gamer hell. Let's see, how do I best describe this to the non-gaming world: Going to GameStop is like when you have to poop while out in public and you are forced to use one of those awful, hardly maintained park bathrooms. It does the job but pretty nasty, right? No self-respecting gamer wants to be stuck with a GameStop gift certificate so instead, buy gift cards for the specific platforms that the person is gaming on. Never go for the minimum value that will not even be remotely enough to purchase the hot titles that they want. At least $100 minimum. The bigger the better. And oh, don't act suspicious when buying these in large amounts because the cashier might think that you are being used by phone scammers that prey on gift certificate codes. Just tell them you haven't spoken to anyone with a heavy Indian accent who happen to have a very typical English name...

Option III - Big Screen 8K LED Display

Look, I am with you. After 4K, there is absolutely no real reason to keep bumping the resolution of a display up. We're getting to the point where our imperfect human eyes cannot even discern the particulars in the image resolution anymore. I mean, come on: Even on the ultimate graphics platform, the PC, we have to cheat and use AI to help us achieve playable 4K resolution on graphics intensive games. That is still the case even with the RTX 4000 lines. But nope, they keep releasing higher and higher resolution displays and gaming companies like Sony like to keep moving the resolution goalposts even though their own gaming platforms can never keep up. 8K videos are easy to produce but interactive 8K games are going to require a LOT. The thing is, I bet that gamer you are trying to impress has already gotten a bitchin' gaming display so the only way to go is up. Flash that cash and go 8K.

Option IV - Marantz 8K UHD AVR SR5015

Oh no, screw the fancy-shmancy new headphones. A surround receiver is where it's at! Sure, the image of gamers wearing headphones is prevalent in the media. There are probably 99.9% of streamers on twitch who play their games with the headphones on. Why? The only time I would use a headphone is when playing multiplayer games if I have to actually chat with my teammates. Even though there are actually headphones out there that come with discreet surround sound channels, nothing beats the grandiosity of playing your games with real surround sound speakers, processed through an audio receiver. Trust me, I have been doing it for close to 25 years. If the person you are gifting happen to be one of those headphones gamers though, make sure you also shop for the surround speakers themselves: you are about to rock their world.

Good luck with your last-minute Christmas shopping!