Teamfight Tactics: No Thanks!

Riot Games' autochess variant, Teamfight Tactics, that had just entered open beta on Wednesday is without the doubt the most attractive and polished compared to the rest in this emerging new genre of quite lazy and very random faux-strategic "chess". I played the game for a bit and you know what? It's pretty darn fun! That is... until I was reminded why I left League of Legends to embrace Heroes of the Storm completely - the horribly toxic community, not to mention that HotS is just leagues better gameplay-wise in comparison. Sure, HotS has its share of nasty people but Blizzard is beyond brilliant to allow players to completely turn off all chat and pings. I learned recently that Riot Games also allowed at least for the pings to be muted - one still has to edit a config file to completely turn off chat in LoL for some reason, a feature that should be included in-game - but apparently, they have forgotten to enable this in TFT. After a couple of games, I was caught off-guard when suddenly, my screen got pinged to death during a match by a player who was silent during half the game because his team got beaten by me and suddenly had a string of good luck and started a great comeback. Every time he demolished my team to shreds, I would get the question mark pings all over my screen. Yeah, I was pretty much done at that point. Unprompted sore winners are the worst. Will they ever enable players to mute pings in TFT? I hope so but if not, the game is certainly not worth it when I don't have to deal with that abuse in Valve's Dota Underlords...

I just want to chill playing a game like this and not be exposed to childish behaviors.

Life Is Unthinkable When Death Is a Certainty

One of the benefits of being middle-age, at least for me, is that you get to think about life and death, a lot. Well, to be frank, I have been preoccupied with the inevitability of death as far back as I can remember. It wasn't so much of a fascination. It was more like a realization that fueled the decisions that I have made throughout my life. I recognized from an early age that there is an end to me and I should do everything in my power to prioritize myself so that I don't have any regrets before I expire. The difference now that I have lived 40+ years of my life is that there is a sense of creeping dread that I have not felt in the past whenever I think about my end. I suppose when I was younger, I knew - or perhaps I was hopeful - that there was at least some significant distance before I would eventually get there. That illusion is no longer present anymore.

On some mornings, I look like Hina from Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc.

Trying Something New with the Wii U

Ah, exercise. Something that everyone should be doing and it is something that most people just don't do, myself included. The last time I maintained a fitness routine was back around 2015/2016 with the help of Nike+ Kinect Training for the X-Box 360. It was the most viscous training regiment out of all the video game exercise programs that I have tried up to that point but it was also apparently very effective. As I look at the pictures of myself from back then, it is obvious to me now that I looked a hell lot healthier than the way I look now.

The thing is, it has always been very hard to force oneself into embracing an exercise routine. I know that I need it but making it happen takes some convincing because my body knows that there is going to be a lot of pain involved. I have to cheat a little bit to get things going and that is the reason for me to recently pick up Your Shape Fitness Evolved 2013 for the Wii U. I know, it's a very old "game" but it's new to me. Most importantly, having access to this new exercise program seems to help in motivating me to get going because I always like trying new things. As a matter of fact, I think that I am going to start using this tomorrow! It's bad enough that I am getting old. The last thing I want though is to be old and fat. Wish me luck!

Is it your shape? My shape? His shape?

Truck Simulator Battle

As someone who enjoys going through Steam's Discovery Queue whenever I get the chance to, I have seen a lot of horrible games. There are just too many. It's not unusual for me to go through the 10+ titles presented per review session with all of them marked "Ignore" or as Steam used to classy them, "Not Interested". At this point, I am estimating that only 15-20% of all games on Steam are probably worthy to be played and the rest are just pure crap. Every now and then, some of these games are so remarkably horrid, it's clear that the developers may not even be trying, like this one:

An easy way to name a game is to just add Extreme in front of the title.

The Truck Simulator series by SCS Software has been so successful, it spawns many inferior imitations such as this one. What makes Extreme Truck Simulator so over the top however is that pricing discount. Recently released on 02/15/2019, the game is introduced with a 1% discount off its $1.99 price as if it was going to push undecided people to buy the game. I have to hand it to the game's developer, A Nostru, however since ETS has a feature that is missing from SCS' flagship series:

Virtual hands steering the truck!

That's not extreme, it's just realistic! In SCS' truck simulator games, the trucks are driven by an invisible ghost so at least ETS got this part right.

Daddy Issues, Daddies Rated

Dream Daddy: A Daddy Dating Simulator for the Personal Computer is a strange game. You play as a single dad of an 18 year old girl who just recently moved to a cul-de-sac filled with other daddies that you can co-mingle with. Since you can choose your dead significant other as either a man or a woman, the game seems to be bit confused. From my first 3 hours of play, the game is portraying most of these daddies as straight and it seems cruel to tease a gay guy like me to spend time knowing these guys. The game seems to be more about fatherhood because the story is centered around your own father-daughter relationship - and hell yes, Amanda wouldn't have gotten away with dismissing me the way she does to the main daddy character - I think that this game was named incorrectly. On the surface level, I am not sure of the game's length, this isn't truly a game about gay dating. It's a game about fatherhood with some homo-erotic elements in it. But I suppose the marketing department thought that it wouldn't have sold well to be truthful about the actual game.

Despite the game's identity issue, Dream Daddy does contain some attractive looking cartoon daddies. In real life, I do find daddies sexy. I don't know, there is something about their maturity and toughness. Also, having kids is a sign that the guys are uh, virile? Those who are new to relationships though, heed my advise. Unless you absolutely can't find a guy with no kids, stay away from them. You don't want to learn the hard way as I did. Back to the game: since the developer honed in on the hot daddy factor to entice their target audience, let's treat these daddies that way by rating their attractiveness:

Mat: The Coffee Shop Daddy

I like guys with a stubble - I'd die for a chance to touch a 5 o'clock shadow - so that's certainly a plus for him. He looks kinda cute I guess. I am not a fan of long hair, it's just not masculine. He has an annoying sense of humor where he likes experimenting with puns. As an undergraduate, I always thought that a sexy guy can't be a funny guy. Later in life, I found that to be quite incorrect. But this guy? He is way overdoing it. And the puns are not even that clever.

Hotness Rating: 😍😍😒😒😒

Brian: The Beer Belly Bush Daddy

I am a stubble guy and he is way too bushy. He does have the potential to look very hot if he can shave that shit down. I am not deterred by that big round belly of his. Look, I don't mind a tight, muscular body with a six pack but there is nothing wrong with a pot belly as long as you don't look bloated everywhere. Seems like a nice guy, very friendly. Too much into his daughter though but I guess that's the curse of fatherhood. Also owns a dog.

Hotness Rating: 😍😍😍😒😒

Craig: The Sporty Daddy

For a smooth-faced motherfucker, he does look rather handsome. Very much into fitness... but very much into fatherhood with that little baby always strapped in front of his muscular bod. He used to be your fat college roommate so that additional tidbit of information made him somewhat hotter. But you know there is no way you can hook up with a guy this well put together so your dick immediately learns to just stay limp when he's around.

Hotness Rating: 😍😒😒😒😒

Damien: The Vampire Daddy

I can be a bit goth. I like wearing anything black. I also used to own black lipsticks. The funny thing is, I never consider goth guys sexy. So this guy immediately falls off the radar. He is very serious about the Victorian era but strangely shops at the game's version of a Hot Topic store. You know a true goth doesn't shop at freaking Hot Topic. Seems like a nice guy though. His son is more goth than he is. Also, he looks way too elf-ish feminine for me.

Hotness Rating: 😒😒😒😒😒

Hugo: The Nerdy Daddy?

It's obvious that the game's developer doesn't know how to make a proper nerdy but sexy guy. Hugo is your daughter's teacher. He's saying that your daughter hasn't been turning in her papers. That mustache made me threw up a bit in my mouth. Then, he also has a man bun, yuck! This character is definitely a mistake. He has a loser son but the only true loser is whoever playing this game and has to interact with this badly imagined failure of a character.

Hotness Rating: 😒😒😒😒😒

Joseph: The Preacher Daddy

A youth minister with a preppy look, wearing a pink polo shirt. Only in Dream Daddy! He's got too many kids and a drunk wife who likes to flirt at the local bar. During a backyard party, the couple was not very friendly with each other. The developer wants you to fall for this guy apparently with all of these mixed signals. He was the first to welcome you to the neighborhood. Another baby-faced but hot guy. I am not into blondes but I really don't mind Joseph at all...

Hotness Rating: 😍😍😍😒😒

Robert: The Gangster Daddy

Before playing the game, I saw this guy in a screenshot and immediately got turned on. He's so hot, I thought he would be the uh, hardest daddy to sleep with. Lo and behold, it was the opposite. Slept with him the first night I met him and I have slept with him... twice now? Yes, Robert is ridiculously handsome. Dark haired, stubbly and oh very rough, very strong. Also, very mysterious. He doesn't say much which adds to the curiosity. Kicking me out of the house after sex made me feel dirty but if that means I can come back, then shoo me out of your messy house every morning honey.

Hotness Rating: 😍😍😍😍😍

Even though the game blesses me with the thrill of chasing after Robert, why is it that I have a feeling this will all be for naught? Anyway, I do look forward to sticking with this one until completion. I am already cautious about the game though but I hope that it will be able to surprise me in the end.

FIRST IMPRESSION: 3 out of 5