I am a loner, that fact is probably quite obvious. I do find solace in doing things on my own. I find that experience comforting, soothing... complete! Since an early age, I have always found myself at odds with the general populace. I felt out of place growing up because there was a standard of social conformity that I just couldn't possibly abide by. Though the social refrain began to be more relaxed into my adult life, being lucky to be in a part of the world that's modern enough, I took with me a childhood that was spent mostly in my own head. What you have now is a guy who still feels awkward in social settings, someone who is still learning the norm of friendly conversations. At one point, I thought that perhaps I needed desperately to make real human connections with others and that lead to a period of confusion and longing but that's behind me now.
Even after saying all these things, I don't oppose to the idea of establishing connections with other gamers out there, however impersonal that relationship may be. This is exactly what I have been doing over the past several months, mostly through adding people into my Steam friends list and chatting it up with others on social media platforms. Now the one thing that people immediately noticed about me is the size of my Game Library. I have even posted a little introduction to that on my Steam profile to address the most common question posed to me when people learned about my large collection. I don't mind the "How?" question because people don't know that I am this immortal vampire who has lived quite a long life and has been in the game business for an eternity. The "Why?" question however, I find to be disturbing because most often than not, it comes from a place of jealousy or low self-esteem. Whenever the "Why?" question happens, I would usually be taken aback by it because these people are most definitely not subtle with their discontents.
Contrary to popular belief, I didn't purchase 8,500+ games in one month.
Let's just get one thing out of the way: a majority of the people I have accepted into my acquaintanceship circle are cool about my large collection and some shared their awe and appreciation for it. Then, there are those who would leave me feeling pretty disgusted with humanity. Opening myself up means I get to encounter more of these individuals. This one person immediately sent me a message about the evil of Steam and that he used to buy a lot of games on Steam until he realized that he had an addiction problem. He then urged me to find help with my Steam addiction. The funny thing about this person is that he then sent me another message after his initial ramblings that he was hoping that I didn't get offended by the things he said to me. Bear in mind that this person didn't even bother saying "Hi" or made any attempt to get to know me after I invited him to my friends list, instead opting for the barrage of nonsense as an introduction. Meanwhile, upon receiving the information about my Game Library, another person immediately started asking me about personal details like the amount of money I make, and making assumptions about my life routines and decisions. I don't have the time to entertain people like these nor find a place for them in my life but these kind of negative responses do give me pause.
I enjoy celebrating other gamers' acquisitions on Steam.
Whenever I share about my game library size with you, I do so because I want to communicate that gaming has been the very essence of my being. It's been a part of me for a majority of my life. It has been there for me during the most difficult of times and during my happiest memories. It's a thing, though certainly not the only one, that defines me. I have never used this fact to say that I am better than anyone else. There was a time when I feel pretty embarrassed about having so many video games. I remember opening up to a colleague about my gaming collection in the early 2000s when I learned that he was a gamer. Fast forward a couple of months and I stopped talking to him when he would make snide comments about me for always having the latest games in my library. There was also a time when video gaming wasn't as mainstream as it is now. Reading books has always been a hobby but playing video games? That's a disorder. I was able to move past my personal shame by taking a good look at myself in the mirror and embracing who I am. It was silly of me to think that at least in the video gaming community, having the experience and access to a large library of games would be a good thing. To some, it's the exact opposite.
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