The quiet of gaming without the camera observing me. It was a strange feeling, but a welcomed one. I have been spending more time on physical tabletop gaming than video games lately, and as with the latter, I used to record every single session of gameplay to be uploaded to my YouTube channel. The thing about recording a tabletop session is that I found myself talking a lot more because unlike how video gaming is a visual medium that can clearly explains itself, I always had to make sense of what I was doing with the components on the table, all the time. It was rather exhausting, but fun. Definitely exhausting though. And playthroughs that would probably take shorter time to complete turned into marathon power sessions. So, when I switched up from playing Origin Story by Stonemeier Games to another game of theirs, Vantage, I wanted to know how it would feel like playing the game off camera.
Inspired by Breath of the Wild but certainly doesn't play the same.
And you know what? It felt, freeing. Personal. It felt meaningful. Livestreaming and uploading videos have been a natural part of my gaming process these days and not having to bother with those things strip the experience down to its rawest form: personal enjoyment. Just playing with myself without having to "explain" myself. Without having to make a point. Sure, we have to give a meaning to why we live each day but that meaning has to be personal. And in that sense, I am just gaming to make myself happy without having to prove it, without having to make myself see it versus to just actually living it. I have been in some sort of philosophical quandary of late and I have not been satisfied with how things are going with some of my own personal trajectories.
I take pride over the archive that I have built on YouTube, but things are going to change.
So, what does this all mean? I am going to take myself away from livestreaming for a little while again. I will still be posting highlights from my video gaming sessions, but the physical tabletop stuff is not going to be visible any time soon as setting this up in my now smaller Game Room really limits my ability to move around this space, and I need room to breathe, mentally. I have regretted not recording some of the surprises I found along the way as I was video gaming in the past, and I have learned from that, and I will not make the same mistake but it's all going to be done low-key. Offline. Privately. I was in love with the idea of documenting my entire gaming journey but that doesn't feel important to me anymore these days.
Update Note: 04/13/2026 - Okay, this Twitch Auto Clips AI tool sounds interesting to me - I consider this a good way to use AI - and I have joined the waitlist for the feature. Here I go again, streaming on the site because I want them to see that I am active there so that I can get into the program. I've had successes getting into their beta programs in the past.
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