I made it for a month+ without participating in livestreaming. And it has been good. There were days when I questioned myself but for the most part, I was happy with my decision. Then, something happened. My guy happened. As you may have guessed, my guy is not a gamer. He's not interested in anything gaming. But he's interested in me. And he's interested in me as a gamer. I have talked to him about me quitting streaming but all this time, he thought that I was just saying it as a jest. He knew about some of my frustrations involving livestreaming, and he thought it was just, cute. So, when I told him that I wanted to quit permanently, he really thought that I was just blowing off steam.
Today, he decided to stop by the Game Room, which was a very rare occasion. You may have noticed the blue curtain on the entrance to the room. I used the curtain to ensure that I wouldn't accidentally capture anything untoward in the background while livestreaming that could potentially happen outside of this so-called "safe space". The curtain or the door would always be closed whenever I was streaming, thus he immediately noticed that they were both open when he came in. He was surprised to find out that I was playing Mortal Kombat 1 without streaming it online. I was just grinding away silver coins to unlock the seasonal content, minding my own damn business. He pulled up the guest chair and we started talking. He couldn't believe that I had stopped livestreaming for more than a month. He always assumed that I would be streaming whenever I game, that much he knows about me. Since he never goes to my social media channels, he wouldn't know that I have stopped uploading my livestreams to them. I explained to him the reason why I stopped and that I am still making gaming videos for my YouTube channel. He was disheartened to hear that I had stopped doing something that I was so passionate about before and he asked me to reconsider my decision.
The new setup is more functional than it was before.
It didn't make sense to him that I had such an easy access to livestream but was no longer willing to do it. He shared with me something that I have not heard before from anyone: that he had always admired my commitment to my gaming hobby and my dedication to stream whenever I play video games. He told me that he did feel that something was off about me lately. I remember him asking me if everything was okay and I answered that with some creativity because I was still struggling with my big gaming activity adjustment and I knew he wasn't interested in my gaming world. We both enjoy vastly separate hobbies, and we respect each other's space when it comes to that. We talk about them in passing since we both have little to no interest in each other's favorite pastime so to actually sit down and go deep into my gaming situation was touching. He showed genuine interest and concern, and at the end of our conversation, I have decided to humor him. I agreed to stream again. And we discussed the details of what that means as well. He agreed that I should just focus on gaming and recording, not the potential interaction part that became something of a bane during the last stretches of my livestreaming sessions before I stopped. I have spent extra time to edit my recorded videos while I was away from livestreaming, so now I can regain some of my free time back since recorded livestreams can easily be archived. He agreed that I could stop again at any time if I feel uncomfortable or for whatever the reason may be, and he wouldn't interfere with the situation again. It was a fair deal. I am game. It was nice to be encouraged by someone who cares. It was a surprise to find out that I actually have access to this support here at home. I always wish that it would come from a gamer who understands this situation better. Who knew that it's more special to be uplifted about my gaming life from the perspective of a non-gamer lover.
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