Video games are a big part of my life but I have never infused them into my own artistic creations: my poetry and my fiction writing nor my visual art. I think that I have only drawn a video game character once in my life - and that was a drawing of Hel from the X-Box 360's Too Human because an old friend of mine was obsessed with that character. Yeah, I suspect that he has a mecha-human fetish. I encountered a strange moment earlier this afternoon while I was eating lunch. I was humming a memorable tune from Plants vs. Zombies for the Personal Computer and there was a part of that particular piece I found melancholic. Those who have played the game may think that I am insane because I am sure a majority of people found the soundtrack to the game upbeat and playful. I often find subtle hints of sadness in the weirdest of places: I have approached friends in the past to listen to a piece of music and asked them if they noticed the pain behind a seemingly innocent tune and they always answered with a "no".
Well, back to the lunch epiphany - I have hummed this tune many times before but for some reason, it hit me really hard today. It took me to a really dark place. I figured the strange mixture of fun and desperation in the tune made me think about life and death and the bitter irony of existence itself. I thought, "Somewhere in the world right now, someone is experiencing their final moment of life. One day, that situation will be reversed as I am leaving this world behind forever. Many rationalize that people go to a beautiful place when they die - many also created limitations in this world on how people should live to secure the ticket to go to that place - to me, all the enjoyment and rewards to be found here are what I could experience in my life: things that happened in the past that will also perish with the decay of memory." This really inspired me to work on a drawing today that will become a gift for my significant other. It's a rather depressing piece but it's an important one I think. It doesn't have video game characters nor any video game related imagery on it. I started working on it as soon as I got home. I have stopped for the evening - I really want this to be a surprise - and I still need to get a lot done. Hopefully, I will be able to get it done sometime tomorrow. Thank you Laura Shigihara. Thank you Plants vs. Zombies!
A promised future, with or without you.